Compiling lists for the content of the publication
I asked around a few friends/coursemates to help me compile a list of things that could be done in an art gallery but that aren't as they aren't considered 'socially acceptable' to do there.
This is a few of the suggestions I received:
- Talk about how amazing this Van Gogh painting is when it’s a Picasso.
- Allow your children to run riot.
- Litter. Everywhere. And constantly.
- Have a loud phone conversation with your doctor about your latest bowel problems.
- Take a fart machine in and sneak up behind people, set it off and then look at them as if it was their fault.
- Casually have a picnic in the middle of the gallery.
- Headphones are so mainstream these days, so take your own speakers and loudly play music. The more charty and repetitive the better. (or the ruder)
- Pretend to lose your glasses and crawl around on the floor trying to find them.
- Keep saying how hot you are in here and gradually take off all your clothes.
- Go in with a friend and constantly moan loudly about how bored you are and that you would prefer to go and admire your stamp collection.
- Start crying because you have been away from your pet guinea pig for over two hours.
- Skip any queues because you are in a wheelchair and then get up and walk around happily once you’re in there.
- Stage an impromptu cricket match.
- Pretend that the paintings are talking to you and have a conversation.
- Set 100 doves free in the gallery and let the chaos commence.
- Order 50 pizzas to the gallery on an unknown number and see if they pay.
- Pretend to give birth in the gallery.
I also found these websites which have lists of art jokes, quotes and anecdotes and I'll pick out ones to use once I have planned out the publication properly:
http://madsilence.wordpress.com/2008/10/26/7-things-never-to-say-in-an-art-gallery/
http://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/things-not-overheard-at-a-conceptual-art-gallery-openinghttp://ridiculouslyinteresting.com/2012/12/22/children-not-looking-at-modern-art/
http://www.redbubble.com/people/paintability/writing/1352548-ten-things-you-must-never-say-to-an-artist
http://www.buzzfeed.com/babymantis/20-spectacularly-nerdy-art-jokes-1opu
http://akickupthearts.wordpress.com/2010/09/03/the-best-art-jokes/
http://funny-jokes.rap-contest.com/index.php/joke/category/art
http://www.artblog.net/post/2005/09/oneliners/
http://www.wetcanvas.com/forums/showthread.php?t=328840
http://www.doodle-art-alley.com/art-jokes-quotes.html
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/jokes/read/80474576/
http://www.teacherhumor.com/modules/mylinks/viewcat.php?cid=6
I haven't read through them all yet, but the ones I have looked at definitely fit the concept!
