Feedback from first draft & changes to be made
Feedback form from Richard:
I'm really happy with the feedback I got as I wasn't expecting to have done so well, and Richard said there wasn't much to change within my essay for the final hand in. I enjoyed researching and writing it because it is a topic I am genuinely interested in and in which I can use the knowledge I have of social theories from when I studied Anthropology at school.
Changes to be made:
- a few small stylistic changes concerning quotation marks
- referencing a quotation in the 2nd body paragraph as I was unsure where the quote was from and referenced it as 'Anon' as the website I found it on had no author
- could rewrite sections to make it more coherent, yet it works as it is so it would just be touching up and refining sentences
- could expand the bibliography by researching more into the subject and rewriting sections in more detail, but the problem with this is the word count constraint
